A pirate captain worries about an early bedtime, a soldier from World War I struggles to cook with fake food and the four King Georges form a boy band.

A Stone Age doctor tries to help a modern patient, a whining pharaoh invents the pyramid and Henry VIII meets his dead friends.

A Roman emperor finds a nasty alternative to candles, an Egyptian tries to save money on mummification, and the Roundheads and Cavaliers take part in Historical Wife Swap.

The Tudors sing their family history, Bob explains the complete history of Rome in two minutes, and a mad Victorian gentleman eats King Louis XIV's mummified heart.

A priest makes a piano from live pigs, Emperor Caligula declares war on the sea, and there are some disgusting beauty tips from Ancient Egypt.

An evil Greek god appears on a daytime chat show, a rich Georgian swaps his wife with a peasant, and we meet some weird medieval monsters.

There is a terrible smell in the Houses of Parliament, Cinderella struggles with the Blitz, and Helen of Troy reveals her complicated love life.

The Saxons exchange disgusting Christmas presents, a caveman goes on a TV cookery show, and we discover the bizarre causes of the First World War.

A Victorian inspector checks that school is suitably cruel, HHTV News reports live from the Great Plague, and Thumbelina drowns unpleasantly.

HHTV News reports live from the Battle of Thermopylae, Celt housewives find decorative uses for severed heads, and we learn the revolting truth about Roman toilets.

Queen Victoria learns that her British comforts are not very British, a Viking warrior won't stop talking in rhyme, and on 'Axe Factor', the contestants try to become executioners.

A Victorian teacher is confused by her pupils' bizarre names, the Romans run out of animals to execute, and Queen Victoria advertises her exercise DVD.

A lazy aristocrat invents the sandwich, the Romans host their own revolting cookery show and William Shakespeare is haunted by the ghost of King Richard III.